3 10 2011

The bible contains tales, which could be based on history

But it also has stories, which are obviously mystery.

There are many legends that prevail,

Like the one about Jonah and the whale,

And much nonsense that is stark,

Like Noah and the ark.

But, using it as a reference,

With the highlights as preference,

And by just giving the gist,

Since on details I don’t insist,

I am about to write the history of the Jews,

And I hope it will amuse.

When monotheism was invented,

By most, it was resented,

But eventually, to a nation  it gave rise

Whose male babies it would circumcise.

It all started with Abraham, who came from Iraq

And settled in Canaan, where he lived in a shack.

This was followed by a few begats,

Until Jacob who begat twelve brats.

He also changed his name to Israel, which gave the Israelites their name,

And this continued for quite sometime, until Jews it became.

Now, the Israelites, for some reason,

Probably due to a dry season,

Left Canaan and started to roam

To Goshen, where they made their home.

They ended up in Cairo city,

The birthplace of Cleopatra and Nefertiti,

And there they were forced to suffer and toil,

Until they left for a place that didn’t have oil

It was Moses who took them from Goshen, not Kush,

Through the Sinai desert, where he saw a burning bush.

He also struck a rock and produced a fountain,

And even took the trouble to climb the Sinai mountain.

But when he came down he had trouble with the Jews,

‘Cause they were worshipping a golden calf, since they didn’t share his views.

Then, they buggered around the desert for forty bloody years,

And quarreled among each other and nearly drove him to tears.

Eventually, when, at last, they reached the Holy Land,

Besides the milk and honey, there was a hell of a lot of sand.

They crossed the Jordan river, the Promised Land to find,

But on doing so, left poor Moses behind.

They settled and had many things

Including shepherds and prophets and kings.

Some of whom were cunning and sly

And one of whom was quite a wise guy.

They were doing rather well,

Until they started quarrelling and fighting like hell

So the Romans were called in to arbitrate,

And they destroyed their temple and caused much hate.

Among the Jews, things then became reasonably calm

When one of them, suddenly, started to cause harm.

He ran around, preaching, and did such a good job,

That soon he found himself followed by a mob

He preached on the mountains and preached on the shore,

And even gave a sermon on mount Tabor. .

As time went by and his popularity increased,

It was decided that he should become deceased

And, since on the way to achieve this there was no restriction,

It was decided that the best way to accomplish it was by crucifixion.

And. after this was carried out,

A new religion came about

And all sorts of fables about him were invented,

Most of which, the Jews resented.

For instance, that he was conceived without sex, they insisted,

Without In Vitro Fertilization at the time having existed.

But even if that story happened to be true,

How come, who his father was, they knew?

And the carpenter in Nazareth was just another Jew.

But, out of consideration for the devout,

I shall give him the benefit of the doubt.

He had disciples  who ran around the gospel to spread

And he became worshipped, although he was dead.

This gave rise to the Holy Sea,

And his birthday is celebrated with a tree. .

The followers of the new religion began to hound and abuse,

Whenever they happened to locate the Jews.

It involved much persecution,,

And even occasional execution

This, of course included the crusaders

And the Spanish inquisition and it’s pervaders.

The latter happened because the guys from Rome

Had kicked the poor Jews out of their home,

And all over Europe they were forced to roam

In Russia and the Baltic pogroms broke out

And it’s unbelievable what they were all about.

Jews were killed, raped and beaten,

Because, of Christian babies they were supposed to have eaten..

But this, was nothing but the slinging of mud,

.Because the babies neither had cloven feet nor chewed the cud

This went on for nearly two thousand years

With the shedding of much blood and tears.

So, for all this time the so called Jewish Problem existed,

And the persecution of the Jews persisted.

The Zionists claimed that if they had a state,

Anti-semitism would abate.

Because the Jews could then live among one another,

In peace in an atmosphere of sister and brother.

And then, although it was rather late,

They finally acquired a state..

To which all Jews could emigrate.

Of joy, the Jews were then in the throes,

But only after Hitler, of six million managed to dispose..

The six hundred thousand Jews who were there from the start,

Proved themselves to be rather smart.

They drained the swamps with blood and tears ,

And died of Malaria over the years.

They reclaimed the desert with plants of all sorts,

And built cities and roads and even ports.

They resisted the British without fail,

And many ended up in jail.

When the state was declared, many immigrants began to arrive,

And they fought many wars in order to survive

Because to their presence the Arabs didn’t agree,

And wanted to drive them into the sea..

But they occupied land that wasn’t theirs,

And evicted the rightful heirs,

So that Israel became a state

That’s accused of apartheid.

The Jewish population has now increased ten fold,

And this, of course, includes both young and old,

And orthodox, agnostic and atheists too,

And everyone else who thinks he’s a Jew.,

So that they’re such a motley crowd,

That their quarreling is both clear and loud.

Because it seems that they will never agree,

Peace with the Arabs, they may never see.

The country is full of trouble and strife,

And crime and corruption are very rife,

And we have a government that can’t reach a conclusion,

With the result that everything is in confusion.

So that, I must confess,

What the future holds, is anyone’s guess.

Now that a state, the Jews have acquired,

Which is what the Zionists desired,

The question is whether anti-semitism is reduced,

And a tolerance for the Jews produced..

It seems that what’s happening is the reverse

And that anti-semitism is getting worse,

Because there are those who settled on occupied land,

And, boast about it, to beat the band.

This has produced  much criticism

As well as much antagonism,

And so much ill feeling among Israelis and others,

That, to try to reconcile them, nobody bothers .

So, one wonders if the Zionists have been defeated,

And, if Jewish history will be repeated..





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: