WALKING

Doctors tell me that I must walk

But, from that I tend to balk.

I started to drive when I was twelve,

And walking , since then, I tended to shelve.

By eighteen, I had my own car,

And, always drove, even if not so far.

To say, I won’t get anywhere by being lazy,

Is a statement that I think is rather crazy.

Because, operations I devised all took less time,

And, what I wish to say I do in rhyme,

Because, otherwise I would tend to pad,

Something that would drive me mad.

Now, till ninety three I’ve managed to survive,

And I might even live till ninety five,

But, if I walk, I might even reach ninety seven,

Which doesn’t guarantee that I’ll go to heaven.

So, to me, the doctors might as well stop talking

About how important it is for me to start walking,

Because I haven’t done so for eighty one years,

And, so far it didn’t cause any tears.

VERTIGO

Masha is suffering from vertigo

And it is difficult for her to go

She is unstable on her feet,

And is afraid of falling in the street.

So, I am obliged to give her a hand,

Although I can hardly walk or even stand.

Now, the doctors told us that we must walk

And from that we decided not to balk.

So, around the block we hobble,

Holding hands so we don’t wobble

And, we’ll continue to do this come what may,

In the hope that we’ll improve one day.

 

93

I have just turned ninety three,

And no one is more surprised than me.

I am still able to function,

And to  voice my opinion have no compunction.

Whether it be cruel or kind,

I still speak my mind.

But, I think I might as well give it up,

And refrain from looking at the half empty cup,

Because, no matter how much I complain,

It all seems to be in vain.

So, to complain there is no call

Since ,I think that I have said it all

So, I should look at the bright side of things,

Whatever it is the future brings

Because, if anything happens to go wrong,

I know that it cannot last long

So, instead  of sitting around, waiting to die,

To continue to read and write, I think I must try.

And now, with those who may regard me as a winner,

I am sitting down to dinner

Because that happens to be the way

We are celebrating my birthday

 

INCONTINENCE

When a woman happens to sneeze

 

And, at the same time, in her pants she pees,

 

Stress incontinence she has to endure,

 

And Anterior Posterior Colpo Perineorhaphe is the only cure.

 

Otherwise, to diapers she is confined,

 

And dare not ever leave them behind.

 

Now, with men the situation is worse,

 

And incontinence is a terrible curse,

 

Because, surgery offers no hope,

 

And with diapers it’s hard to cope.

 

So, on an indwelling catheter they may depend,

 

A depressing way one’s life to end.

 

Now, that’s where Psychologists could play a part,

 

Because, if they are very smart,

 

To cure incontinence they may not succeed,

 

But to it, the patient may pay no heed.    

THE MASHULACH

A Mashulach is usually a religious Jew,

 

Who is sent abroad in order to do

 

Whatever he can, without pause,

 

To raise funds for some charitable cause.

 

Now, because they are orthodox,,

 

They wear black coats and long white socks.

 

In Kroonstad, where we had our home,

 

Regularly, once a year one would come.

 

Without question, my father donated,

 

Because he felt quite obligated.

 

One day, during the course of conversation,

 

My father asked, for what cause was his occupation.

 

He said ‘‘if on knowing, you insist,

 

It’s a widow who without me can’t exist.’’

 

“And who is this widow who to you owes her life?’’

 

“To tell you the truth, it is my wife.”

 

“But your wife isn’t a widow, I see”

 

“”So, what do you care if I continue to be?”   

ACHIEVEMENT

To write a poem, is one thing,

 

To write a good one, is another.

 

Compose a song that one can sing,

 

Otherwise don’t bother

 

Everything you undertake,

 

Should be well worthwhile,

 

Otherwise it’s a mistake

 

And will not let you smile.

 

Satisfaction comes if you succeed,

 

No matter how slight the success,

 

And that is all that you need,

 

To justify the stress,

 

Now, to research, this does not apply,

 

Because, although success is the objective,

 

With the outcome not knowing,

 

The interest in the project being subjective,

 

Is what makes you keep going.

 

 

ON THE RISE

To live in Israel is much harder,

 

And there is much less in the larder.

 

This, to me, is no surprise,

 

Since everything is on the rise.

 

Electricity now costs much more,

 

And the price of petrol has begun to soar.

 

This applies to public transport as well,

 

And water is as expensive as hell.

 

Now, all this may be well and good,

 

But, there is also an increase in the price of food.

 

However, from too much concern one may be released,

 

Because the salaries of members of the Knesset are also increased.

 

 

 

 

FEATHERS

I have an aviary in the garden,

 

So, I had to beg my wife’s pardon,

 

Because there were feathers in our bedroom

 

Which I had to sweep out with a broom.

 

Now, how they got there, I couldn’t understand,

 

Because the distance was really grand.

 

So, to search for their origin I was resolved,

 

And , eventually the problem was solved,

 

Because I found that of all things,

 

The feathers came from my wife’s wings.

TRUE STORY

I am ninety two years old,

 

But, still have a story worth being told.

 

It concerns a Scottish farmer, who, while working in his field

 

Heard someone screaming while for help he appealed.

 

He went to see what it was all about,

 

And found a boy in a bog unable to get out.

 

He was stuck in the mud up to his waist,

 

So he pulled him out with the utmost haste.

 

Shortly thereafter what happened was that

 

He was visited by an aristocrat.

 

Who claimed that the boy in the bog was his son,

 

And he wanted to reward him for what he had done.

 

But the farmer claimed that payment was not needed,

 

Because he was glad that to save the boy he succeeded.

 

Just then, the farmer’s son happened to appear,

 

And the nobleman said that he had an idea.

 

He then turned round, and calmly stated,

 

That he would arrange for the boy to be educated

 

To the same extent as that of his own son,

 

Because, if he was like his father, he would be a deserving one.

 

So the boy studied medicine , and became a physician of fame,

 

Because he discovered Penicillin since Femister was his name.

 

Because this discovery happened to occur,

 

He was eventually knighted and became a Sir.

 

Now, his sponsor was Sir Randolph Churchill,

 

Whose son, later, with pneumonia became seriously ill

 

But he was saved by penicillin, I am glad to say,

 

And what Winston achieved is known to this day.

 

 

 

 

DNA

If one is hyper energetic,

 

It is usually genetic.

 

And if one is unusually placid

 

It can be related to Desoxy Nucleic Acid.

 

And it also applies,

 

To the colour of one’s eyes,

 

Or that of one’s skin,

 

Or whether one is fat or thin

 

If lack of energy is the permanent state

 

It may be due to lack of Adenosine Tri Phosphate.

 

And so, many a characteristic or shape or size,

 

And one’s capability or otherwise,

 

And be them all as they may,

 

Are dependant on the DNA